- The Subconscious of a Stressed Med Student
- 2 Months into LDR w/ med school boyfriend, having strong doubts. : MedSpouse
- MED SCHOOL MADNESS: Long Distance Relationship
If you are serious about the one you are with, you must recognize there are limited periods to get things done. Time is not on your side while in medical school. Should one date another medical student or someone outside of medicine? I truly think both options can work out and I have seen both work out only when the partner understands what medical school entails.
This means it is critical that you give your significant other whether this is your spouse or someone you are dating an idea of what is to come both short term and long term. They must understand that you will most likely miss very important events but that you are doing this for the both of you and for your future. It will all be worth it at the end. Clear this up sooner than later and encourage them to be there for you or leave as harsh as that is. Being with another physician or someone in healthcare has this as a huge perk but then again it is sometimes nice to get away from medicine or to be with someone who has more time on their hands.
I must also add that Match Day can make a huge dent in a relationship. This is the day when graduating or already graduated medical students across the country find out where they will go for residency.
The Subconscious of a Stressed Med Student
Many students plan this around their significant other. I remember watching one of my closest friend on that day go through a very bitter sweet moment. Some allow their relationship to cause them to struggle through medical school. There is no better test on a relationship than medical school. You will learn quickly if that person will be there when you need them and just as importantly, whether you find them worth it enough to be there for them.
Long distance relationships are doable only with a lot of effort. If there are any questions whatsoever, think really deeply if this who you want to spend the rest of your life with. These decisions are critical.
For those entering medical school already married, my recommendation would be to keep family first. Met different, better people. As you can see, the drawbacks of a relationship in medical school are all outcomes of dating the wrong person. A relationship in medical school takes work for both parties. Before embarking on the journey, you need to sit down and have a candid talk about what each of you expects from each other.
Text throughout the day if you feel like it. Make promises to not sweat the small stuff or start an issue over irrelevant BS. Talk When You Can: I think one solid piece of advice is to make short calls periodically. Driving home from lecture? Taking a ten minute study break? Sitting on the toilet?
Give her a ring and talk for a few minutes. Keep each other updated on your day. Call to say hi, good morning, or tell a quick story. Obviously the best aspects of movie night are impossible to replicate, but starting a movie together at the same time, texting throughout, and talking on the phone to share your thoughts right after is a great way to make you feel closer to that person. Arguing over petty shit is for 19 year olds. Only YOU know what is best for you. You determine your own happiness and success.
Put in Equal Effort: Pay for gas sometimes if she drives to you. Keep the Bitching in Check: No one wants to hear constant negativity all the time. Imagine you were dating someone and all they wanted to talk about is how hard school is. Make the Most of Your Time: Sleep in til Make some bomb ass french toast for breakfast.
2 Months into LDR w/ med school boyfriend, having strong doubts. : MedSpouse
Treat yourself to deliciously shitty food. Get wasted and stay out dancing until two in the morning. Stay in and binge watch an entire season of your favorite series on a Saturday off. Drink three bottles of wine and build a fucking puzzle. Laugh as much as you can. You texted him at 4: Has he lost interest?? Is he with another girl?! No no and no.
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When he calls after a stressful day, put on your psychologist pants, listen to him, and continue to encourage. This goes for both parties. This is the most important time in the medical school relationship dynamic. Instant boost to his sanity and happiness. Med school can get you down sometimes. Remind him of his own abilities and strengths.
Help When You Can: Think of the kids. Medical school is stressful at times. One thing I cannot fathom is experiencing a personal tragedy during these times. Death of loved one? With an exam coming up? You must keep your head on straight. They were not the one. Indulge in the heartbreak momentarily. Binge eat junk food. Drink a bottle of wine. Look at the old photos and bask in the magnificence of human emotion. Focus on your studies. If you are on the fence about a starting or continuing a relationship in medical school, you must ask yourself these questions:.
We've briefly discussed the possibility, but never seriously.
MED SCHOOL MADNESS: Long Distance Relationship
How do I explain that I'd be OK with potentially moving out of my career path or something similar without seeming overbearing? After all, we've really only known each other for a few months. How exactly do we handle the wrinkle of residency in all of this? Throwaway e-mail is ithrewsofaraway gmail. If you will not be comfortable unless you discuss this with her, then you may want to try something along the lines of "I am very happy with you and will do my very best to be supportive of you and our relationship in the future.
If I were you I'd worry about building the relationship first, and then figure out the all the geographical what-ifs afterward. You won't know what's possible unless you first decide to try to really be a couple, and that requires a leap of faith. Well, I say this as someone eventually hoping to do family practice, NOT as a hater--of all the residencies, FP is known to be less competitive, so unless the city of interest is Boston or some such, she does have a non-zero chance of being accepted at one of those four desired programs.
If I were you, I would take a deep breath and see what unfolds. God forbid, you could break up for other reasons before the residency decision happens, anyway.
Well you don't right now. I'd go with "I'm going to assume that everything will work out as well as it can, and that if it doesn't we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I'd hate to give up on something that has every chance of working out. I am currently falling out of a long distance relationship so my apologies if there is any bias. It'll be extremely hard to make it work because you need the both of you to be willing to work on this.
That doesn't mean "I love you" once a day and things will be fine. You both have to actually make time for each other on your busy schedules.